不是不想改，是要改变的心不够强烈

已经3个月了
还是我行我素

明明知道可以控制的事情
可是就是蠢蠢欲动想去做
明明知道这样做会伤身体
可是还是为了享受一时的快感
而去做

手的疤痕越来越明显
越来越难看
连自己的外观都照顾的不太好了

没有不美的人
只有懒惰的人

他不理睬我
并不是成为我binge eating和purging的理由
人家有自幼喜欢人的权利
我为甚要那么在意
为了一个不respond to me的人在赴汤蹈火
我这是在为了什么？

问问自己
其实也没有很喜欢喜欢很喜欢他到无可救药的程度
只是很熟很熟的闺蜜
何必那么在意

整天在花心思想他在想什么
很累
怕他觉得别扭所以事事都保持距离
。
Let go.
What's yours will come back to you,
What's not, will never be.

冬天到了
要更好安排生活
不是自我摆烂

昕颖，多爱自己吧

2 Main Addictions

Facebook.

Binging n Purging.

I am really scared to look at myself now.

Strike

I have been repeating the cycle again lately
but I am afraid to face it.
Every single time I told myself it's gonna be the last time,
yet it reoccurred and reoccurred again.
Many times I came by the thought that I will be in control of myself
however in vain.

Took me months to slim down to the ideal weight I longed for
I don't want to be lazy and fat again.
This addiction is really overwhelming
I really want to get rid of it
BUT HOW?!

Please help me.

I don't want to be defeated.

Honestly, I have taken food as an excuse for not getting in face to face with academics ><
Yet I know the exam is just around the corner.
The growing inferiority in me is creeping and digesting my every single cell,
sending chills deep down my spine.
Every time I look at the toilet bowl,
My heart's pounding really fast,
almost gushing out my thorax like water.
It's torturing my abdomen and thoracic cavity but I seem to ignore the pain?

What is wrong with me?
I need to help myself to get over this obstacle.