I have to win this battle.

I feel distressed and useless whenever the bulimic thoughts came flooding and the feel of binging on food overpowered my mind.I hate losing my sane self to irrationality, and then the irresistible feel of low self-esteem crushes me to bits. Again.

I knew I felt terribly guilty every single time I wasted money on the food and in the face of the toilet bowl. Wasting money and misusing privileged, this is undeniably unforgivable. I must have puked out thousands of money into the toilet bowl all these years suffering from Bulimia nervosa. 

All those hard earned money from my parents. How could I?
I must cease this war. It's mentally and physically depriving. I can't afford to lose myself again.
Away! Away! Feel of guilt! Away! Away! Bulimia!


Exactly what I encounter. Please help me :(
I HAVE TO WIN THIS FOR MY HEALTH. MY LIFE.